So the summer’s over. I’m not a “Certified Student Attorney” anymore. I feel a bit worthless now. It has been a couple of weeks since I last stepped into the courtroom. I spent the last day getting mostly run over by the judge, getting lost in a debate about custody credit at one point. That was the one thing I did not get mastered this summer – I generally always relied on probation to get it right. When the judge asked me that day whether I thought the defenses calculation of custody credit was correct, I stumbled and mumbled then quickly agreed after realizing that my brain seemed ill euipped to the task of calculating the credit on the fly. When I returned to my desk, I realized that I got hosed over for about a month’s credit. Not the best feeling at all. Mark it down as another lesson learned.
So it has been a long time since my last post. Despite the tone of the above comments, the summer job went well. It is clear from talking with my classmates that virtually no one got to spend as much time in the courtroom as I did. That makes me feel somewhat special. I gained a certain sense of confidence from my experiences. There is something to be said for someone who can enter a uncertain situation and say the right thing. I got a real lesson in preparation and I began to see some of the briefing skills used in 1L year make themselves useful. Often you have to remember 10 or sometimes 15 different stories during any given calendar. When that case is called, you have to know that story, what your assessment was and take that and discern how the judge wants to rule on the case. Complicating matters is that you have to remember each judges temperament, how long they will let you speak and which side they generally favor. This mix is what makes those first weeks on the job so perplexing.
But I got it. And I hoped to continue doing it during the school year. Unfortunately for me becuase of budget cuts, the county has no money to keep us summers on past August. A shame – especially on the first week of school when the transition from work to school feels so harsh. I’m looking for a new job but i feel trapped in a way searching for a post graduate job while having to search for a part time school year gig. It is an odd place to be – a place that some of my classmates who made big law do not have to worry or ponder about. I am jealous of them, angry at myself, resigned at my fate if you will. There are so many reasons why their jobs are not right for me …. yet the security and financial comfort of their jobs has me somewhat envious. Especially when I have to leave in a moment to pick my wife up from work – I place we hoped to avoid with the birth of our son almost two years ago.
Somehow someway though this “alternate” path I am traveling is the one I have been placed by a kind Father in heaven. If there is anything that brings me around it is this sure knowledge. I cannot think of a time when he hasn’t “answered the call” even though I have had some pretty rough times I can never ever say that I was not blessed. I feel proud just typing it.
More thoughts to arrive next week. I’ll pay more attention to the blog now that school has started back up.
